when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
