i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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