I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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