she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
