You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm like, not good at living.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
