How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
