you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
