whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just saw a hot homeless man
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
