Fine. I'll sleep in my office
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
