i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize