There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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