On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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