His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
