So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
