ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
