i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
