my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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