I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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