There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
