And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
