drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
