it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
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He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
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There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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