hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
