You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
im holly from the hills drunk
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
