I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
