so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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