his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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