How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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