its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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