Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
