Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
