The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
