You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
