I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
