Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
worst night to have a conscience
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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