Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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