what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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