Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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