he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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