I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
