I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
