bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
