If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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