so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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