You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
two words...techno handjob
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
