Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
