weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think my fart just growled at me.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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