hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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