Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
