Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
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