god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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