so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
