in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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