why do cheetos always look like penises
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
