hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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