how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
My vagina is very pro this idea
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
