So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
