she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
