I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
