Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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