It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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