you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
whose ass print is on the piano?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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