Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
