i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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